She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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