apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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