New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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