I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize