You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The ass gains better be worth it
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