windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
A bitchslap is in order.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
