I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
