Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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