i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
