ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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