do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize