I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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