yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Drunk is not a location!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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