he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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