You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
