may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
