well you can't waste a boner
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
