look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
