no, he came in my armpit
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize