lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Michael Bay diarrhea
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
