Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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