He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
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Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
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you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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