im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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