I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
