Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize