thus making me awesome and them whores
birth control should be required to get into college
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
