Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....

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  (425): i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is.... http://tfl.nu/ar6t
  Replies (36) Good night (3201) Bad night (701)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed

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  (902): There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed http://tfl.nu/rsjn
  Replies (8) Good night (2445) Bad night (1337)
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  (209): View more from California

  I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.

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  (209): I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that. http://tfl.nu/8ygm
  Replies (3) Good night (2470) Bad night (929)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle

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  (423): Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle http://tfl.nu/m7ud
  Replies (7) Good night (2105) Bad night (812)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Those were the highlights of my night.

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  (717): Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves. (717): Those were the highlights of my night. http://tfl.nu/jaow
  Replies (8) Good night (2026) Bad night (783)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk

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  (709): we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk http://tfl.nu/yaqj
  Replies (11) Good night (883) Bad night (1902)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level

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  (812): that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level http://tfl.nu/3djd
  Replies (11) Good night (3843) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.

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  (717): My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos. http://tfl.nu/1tew
  Replies (3) Good night (1049) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Already at 3 and it's not even noon.

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  (616): I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today. (616): Already at 3 and it's not even noon. http://tfl.nu/7ttt
  Replies (6) Good night (1456) Bad night (650)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home

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  (920): We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home http://tfl.nu/c2b2
  Replies (3) Good night (790) Bad night (403)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.

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  (814): I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag. http://tfl.nu/1d0d
  Replies (6) Good night (1076) Bad night (373)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?

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  (651): Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat? http://tfl.nu/25mc
  Replies (6) Good night (414) Bad night (908)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?

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  (479): Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus? http://tfl.nu/0nek
  Replies (4) Good night (611) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.

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  (425): My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well. http://tfl.nu/o5pi
  Replies (3) Good night (899) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?

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  (973): Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990? http://tfl.nu/ls6v
  Replies (1) Good night (320) Bad night (426)

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