Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.

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  (313) 1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head. http://tfl.nu/u795
  Replies (0) Good night (1663) Bad night (731)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise

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  (208): the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise http://tfl.nu/n0e5
  Replies (59) Good night (790) Bad night (8527)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...

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  (416): I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment... http://tfl.nu/srde
  Replies (8) Good night (2904) Bad night (793)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on

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  (204): this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol (1-204): you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on http://tfl.nu/g8v3
  Replies (10) Good night (1037) Bad night (3808)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.

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  (541): we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off. http://tfl.nu/ziys
  Replies (69) Good night (1393) Bad night (5463)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.

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  (270): Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse. http://tfl.nu/tvyi
  Replies (19) Good night (3657) Bad night (1036)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes

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  (859): i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes http://tfl.nu/xf12
  Replies (19) Good night (947) Bad night (3598)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.

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  (413): Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking. http://tfl.nu/aegx
  Replies (11) Good night (977) Bad night (2617)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.

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  (902): Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know. http://tfl.nu/6wh4
  Replies (10) Good night (3239) Bad night (1080)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.

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  (610): Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card. http://tfl.nu/uepf
  Replies (12) Good night (4482) Bad night (870)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.

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  (425): I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it. http://tfl.nu/dgh5
  Replies (13) Good night (1047) Bad night (3249)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.

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  (832): Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage. http://tfl.nu/2oqv
  Replies (1) Good night (2183) Bad night (780)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't answer my phone I'm at work

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities

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  (339): I can't answer my phone I'm at work (781): I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities http://tfl.nu/qhjl
  Replies (5) Good night (1685) Bad night (471)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  My god, what have you done?

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  (203): Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship. (1-203): My god, what have you done? http://tfl.nu/3iim
  Replies (3) Good night (1630) Bad night (481)
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  (537): View more from

  Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out

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  (537): Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out http://tfl.nu/ifru
  Replies (1) Good night (383) Bad night (229)

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