Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?

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  (508): member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games? http://tfl.nu/dghf
  Replies (21) Good night (1534) Bad night (3090)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.

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  (651): She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three. http://tfl.nu/b36h
  Replies (17) Good night (834) Bad night (5198)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  it was like fucking gandolphs beard

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  (405): it was like fucking gandolphs beard http://tfl.nu/vnqc
  Replies (30) Good night (1030) Bad night (6862)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.

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  (615): Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span. http://tfl.nu/rd54
  Replies (36) Good night (6822) Bad night (1446)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills

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  (785): I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills http://tfl.nu/tv9l
  Replies (6) Good night (4213) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.

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  (502): All I need is the Internet and a place to drink. http://tfl.nu/np52
  Replies (1) Good night (1614) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is

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  (703): Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is http://tfl.nu/4n15
  Replies (7) Good night (1291) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.

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  (702): Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament. http://tfl.nu/k9l6
  Replies (8) Good night (1556) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.

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  (785): The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked. http://tfl.nu/4i2t
  Replies (6) Good night (1773) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.

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  (360): She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake. http://tfl.nu/n9ny
  Replies (7) Good night (491) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.

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  (210): Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often. http://tfl.nu/cowe
  Replies (14) Good night (946) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.

  (214): View more from Texas

  SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.

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  (214): MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME. (214): SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME. http://tfl.nu/sfja
  Replies (12) Good night (1170) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home

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  (574): You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home http://tfl.nu/h5b8
  Replies (1) Good night (659) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.

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  (970): I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through. http://tfl.nu/usec
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.

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  (980): What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone. http://tfl.nu/w2n9
  Replies (8) Good night (536) Bad night (711)

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