Texts From Last Night

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  (229): View more from Georgia

  my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore

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  (229): my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore http://tfl.nu/2olf
  Replies (20) Good night (3424) Bad night (818)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?

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  (260): Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache? http://tfl.nu/2cci
  Replies (4) Good night (787) Bad night (4390)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him

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  (724): yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him http://tfl.nu/kgpr
  Replies (4) Good night (2608) Bad night (821)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.

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  (801): She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous. http://tfl.nu/mgxb
  Replies (5) Good night (4678) Bad night (1082)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?

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  (540): is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious? http://tfl.nu/lq7k
  Replies (7) Good night (5331) Bad night (1179)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.

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  (307): Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory. http://tfl.nu/grsq
  Replies (5) Good night (1595) Bad night (782)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.

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  (717): Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too. http://tfl.nu/67rw
  Replies (1) Good night (1030) Bad night (1380)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?

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  (425): Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy? http://tfl.nu/h26n
  Replies (10) Good night (1450) Bad night (760)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him

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  (215): I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him http://tfl.nu/j1cu
  Replies (4) Good night (1121) Bad night (504)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.

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  (410): One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes. http://tfl.nu/j23w
  Replies (0) Good night (429) Bad night (676)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"

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  (647): I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!" http://tfl.nu/1iw3
  Replies (3) Good night (2123) Bad night (439)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused

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  (940): I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused http://tfl.nu/s5e1
  Replies (2) Good night (1134) Bad night (371)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?

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  (734): I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening? http://tfl.nu/odfb
  Replies (8) Good night (607) Bad night (1036)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.

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  (480): Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me. http://tfl.nu/3nkv
  Replies (1) Good night (413) Bad night (106)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.

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  (419): she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home. http://tfl.nu/hho7
  Replies (2) Good night (210) Bad night (123)

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