She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
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I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
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I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.