His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.