i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
