Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He shit in the fireplace
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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