you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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