My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just want nice things and good sex
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
