College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
