I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
