I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize