I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
