remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
