But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
