Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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