I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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