trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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