If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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