Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
