I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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