i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize