fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
