Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize