I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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