Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
