it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
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