At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The air was thick with penises
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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