Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Too much gin, very little bucket
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
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