carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
