I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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