I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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