I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Ketchup is God's man juice
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
