he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I have fence marks all over my body
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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