in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
