so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
