you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just had sex on a roof
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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