hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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