ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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