like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
