I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
and she was petting her beer can
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
