wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
be right there i have to get my cape
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize