im about as happy as oj after his trial
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize